I love the holidays, I always have. This one, however, was particularly difficult for me. You see, we found out Wednesday night that our suspicion earlier in the week had been accurate. We had a miscarriage. Crum Baby #4 will not be joining our family in July.
For those of you that have had a miscarriage, you know that it is both physically and emotionally challenging. With 3 little boys, I felt extremely blessed that Mr. Crum was able to be home with me most of the week. He took excellent care of our boys. Friends rallied around in support of us. Still, it was tough.
From the start of this pregnancy, the word God put on my mind for the baby was "peace." We had decided that somehow "Shalom" would be part of the baby's name. Shalom is more then just simply peace; it is a complete peace. It is a feeling of contentment, completeness, wholeness, well being and harmony.
Again and again over the last week and a half, I have had to remember the peace of God. Because the Spirit is in me, I HAVE his peace. It does not come from me, or from the world around me. The peace that I have in this heartbreaking time is from Him alone.
Tonight I spoke with a friend who had heartbreaking news of her own. My heart aches for her and her husband. They seem to meet adversity everywhere they turn. My friend, I wish I had answers about why a good God lets babies die before they are born. I wish I could tell you why things are happening the way they are in your life. The only thing I can tell you is that I find my peace in Him. I know he is good even when the world doesn't make any sense. Even when the justice system is unjust - he is fair.
Have you had a hard week? How are you holding it together? What do you rely on when times are tough?
Jennifer, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. You and Randy will be in my prayers, but I am so glad you are experiencing the peace that passes understanding.
ReplyDeletePraying for you all. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Thankful to Christ for his sacrifice that ensures your family will be together for all eternity in heaven.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry! Prayers headed your way for your family.
ReplyDeletePrayers headed your way! After losing our dd at 30 weeks, we found our way back to God! He still hasn't blessed us with another one (almost 4 years of trying) but we are hopeful he will soon! It's hard around the holidays though even with your faith. It makes it even harder this year for us because my sister is pregnant again (she has 1 yo twins). I will keep you in our prayers!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.
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