Mama's Thoughts: Shooting

Mama Crum is a pacifist.  I believe that battles can be won by using words.  I want my boys to learn that fighting is not the way to solve disputes.  I think that when God gives the commandment, "Thou shalt not kill," he probably means it.  I don't see him making exceptions in his command.  Yes, I know you can make biblical arguments to the contrary.  I'm not writing to debate about theology though.  I am certain that Jesus was serious when he stated the greatest command is "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself."  

So what's the problem?  I have boys.  Boys are fascinated by shooting.  Monkey learned about pointing at people and making shooting noises while he was in the church nursery.  Yep, I'm positive that's where he learned it.  Everything is a gun, everything is fun to shoot.

Anger, Frustration, Sadness Happen.  How do we teach our kids to deal with it?

I recognize that the boys have no concept about what shooting really is or what it means.  They don't know that it hurts people.  My boys don't understand fighting and war.  They do know that sometimes their friends shoot while playing, and sometimes they shoot while angry.  It scares me to see little boys pretend to shoot while they're angry with someone.  Why?  I've worked in an environment where young boys were learning how to cope with hurts.  When they were angry and pretended to shoot someone, they meant it.  They were practicing hurt in their hearts and with their hands and minds. 

My rule for my own boys is no shooting people.  I know they're going to play guns, even if they don't have any - they will make guns.  They are learning conflict resolution even now.  They are learning to express emotions, to talk about problems, to work things out, and to consult others when they cannot find a peaceable answer.  I wish they would stop play shooting, but I recognize that they are learning to make neat noises and exert power in their surroundings.

Funny Story:

One day while I was in a meeting at church I heard Monkey "shooting" at his brother while they played in the hallway.  I called him into the room to talk with me.  When I confronted him about what was going on, he said to me, "But.. he's a penguin".  Sheesh - he's already looking for ways around the rules!

What are your thoughts on shooting?  Do you allow it?  Do you teach it?  How do you teach conflict resolution?  How do you teach your boys to use their power?

Mama's thoughts about vegetables

Brussels Sprouts, Oranges, and Bean filled lasagna roll up

"When I see what your kids eat, I feel guilty."

"How can I help my family be healthier?"

These are small parts of actual conversations with friends.  It's true, my boys like fruits and vegetables, and their diet is heavy on them.  Monkey cheers for beans and begs for nuts.  He'll eat any fruit you offer him.  Crackers begged for broccoli at dinner the other night.  They even eat raw spinach.

It hasn't always been like this though.  I remember a period of time that we were putting ketchup on everything for Monkey - even green beans - just to get him to eat it.  Then there was the period of time that he was opposed to nearly every vegetable and it was tricky to get him to eat well.  Crackers has never had an aversion to food - other than olives.  He has always eaten whatever we will serve him.  

We learned after Monkey to change the way we were serving food.  We Crackers has had ketchup only a few times, and I rarely give him other "dips" for his food - he doesn't even think to ask for them unless Monkey has some.  We serve him what we are eating and expect that he will eat it.  Is it silly to expect a 2 year old to eat what his parents eat?  Not really.  He is able to eat it and it is good for him.  He can choose to eat it, or he can choose to be hungry.

Eat what is served, or be hungry.  That seems harsh.  Kids need food, right?  I've seen it so many times with kids in daycares where I have worked - a lot of families feed kids "what they will eat".  They believe they need to serve "kid friendly foods".  They let the children determine what the family's menu will be.  They expect children to take the lead in making healthy choices for themselves.  It's true, there is a time that kids have to start making choices about what they eat, but children don't know what it means to make healthy choices unless someone teaches them.  

So, how do you teach your kid to eat vegetables?

Serve vegetables at least 2 meals a day.

If you are in the habit of offering seconds at meals, insist that children at least taste veggies before they get more of something else.

If there is a food your child doesn't like, keep trying.  Eventually they may change their minds.

Try making it differently - add cheese, ketchup, or ranch; serve it frozen, raw, steamed, or baked;  use a different seasoning; put it in a favorite dish (noodles are great carriers for veggies).

Offer a variety.

Try something new to you.

Let kids help cook.

Change the name - Monkey doesn't like "chili", but he will eat "beans with meat".

Hide it - mash it, grind it, puree it - then put it in pasta sauce.

Grow a garden - let him plant, water, weed, and pick his veggies.

Talk it up - When serving foods, talk about how wonderful they taste.

Eat them yourself - you can't expect that your kids will try them if you won't.

Shop together, invite your child to help pick out fresh produce.

How about you?

What are your tricks to getting your child to eat well?

What are your children's favorite foods?

Do you have a great "child friendly" vegetable recipe?