This week I had the opportunity to deal with some people who were choosing to be difficult. They seemed to have decided that the plans of the group did not matter as much as the things they wanted to do. As their leader for the week, that was incredibly frustrating. My toddlers were doing a better job of following directions and cooperating than these people. So I had to deal with that.
I tried a number of tactics, to insight cooperation. Do you know what worked? Dealing with it straight up, confronting the facts as they were - This is how you ought to behave and this is why... if you do not behave this way, this is what will happen.
I'm not saying that this made things 100% better, but at least tolerable.
One evening, as I was praying about this particular group who was making poor choices, I asked God what he would do in my situation. Have you ever done that and not liked the answer? Do you know what god told me? "I would say Come and follow me and I will make you fishers of men." That is not what I wanted to hear. God wanted me to invite these people to follow him.
See, I know God loves everyone, and I WANT these people to know him - but I want to see a difference RIGHT NOW. I wanted God to say something like "Say these magic words and things will change".
I guess it's a good thing I'm not God.
How do you deal with difficult people?
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Monday, July 16, 2012
Really Riding
I learn so much from my boys about life, about faith, about love... the list goes on. I love the relationship that I have with my boys. This week I've learned a bit about "really riding". I'm not talking about my bike, but that's where it all starts:
My sister had received 2 small bikes for her little Stinky and decided to give one to Nas for his birthday. I was somewhat skeptical about this idea because in the past he has refused to even attempt pedaling (trikes, big wheels... anything). Guess what. This boy was super excited about the bike. He needed help at first, but he was determined to figure it out. He worked hard to get his muscles trained to move just right. (He does have training wheels). Once he got the hang of it though, he took off, no troubles.
He asked to ride his bike EVERYWHERE around the camp this week. He still needs help with going up hill. That's tough work! He's getting there though. We left camp Friday night and I made him put the bike in the house - as soon as we were back on Saturday night (around 11pm) he dragged it outside and rode it for as long as we would allow before throwing him in bed. Do you know what the first thing he wanted to do on Sunday was? You better believe it - he wanted to ride the bike. Even before breakfast (that's huge).
So now, what is it that I've learned from Manasseh's incessant biking?
Dedication. He wants to ride this thing everywhere. He wanted to ride so badly that he took TIME to practice. He accepted help. He is committed to riding his bike. You know what? He's getting better at it every day. He really finds joy in riding his bike, really riding.
I want to be so dedicated to Christ the way Manasseh is dedicated to his bike. I want to get excited about spending time with God so much that I can hardly wait to get out of bed in the mornings. I want to be willing to accept help where I need it. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Self-discipline is a struggle for me. I'm working on it. I'm getting better.
God, Help me to "really ride" with you each day. Give me the energy and excitement that comes from being close to you. Thank you for being at work in my life today, and every day. Amen.
Are you riding with God? How do you keep yourself on track with daily time in the Word? What exciting things is God doing in your life?
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Kingdom Living
Cassius is learning what it means to be part of God's Kingdom. He had the opportunity this morning to help with collecting tithes and offerings at Olive Bethel Church of God in Akron.
French Fries and Frustration
Let me set the scene for you:
It was Friday night after a long week of work and a surprise trip to the neurlogist and, and, and... I was tired, I hadn't eaten since lunch - it was 9pm and I had been driving for 40 minutes listening to kids music. We don't have air in the van, so I drove with the windows down, my hair, in a pony tail, was wind-blown and the smaller sections crazy all over the place. My children, having been swiftly thrown into the van upon the completion of camp, were dirty - really dirty. Oh, and my 2 year old? He's pooped through 2 pair of shorts today, the last shortly before we left the grounds - he was clad in a tshirt and diaper only.
I promised the boys that we would stop and get a "snack" on the way home, they had only had snacks at dinner time because I thought we would leave sooner. I pulled in to the first fast food joint on the road after leaving camp (yes, the nearest fast food joint between our house and the camp is a 40 minute drive). I ordered our food and pulled off to the side to hand out treats. I opened my bag and discovered that I had only been given about half of a box of fries.
Okay, so not a big deal, I figured I'd just go through the drive through, explain the situation, and have them correct it - but... the line was getting really long and I just wanted to get home as soon as I could.. so.. the crazy french fry lady (I'm sure that's what they're calling me now) parks the van in an actual spot, pulls 3 kids out of it (only 1 had pants on), my hair was all crazy... we were a sight. I marched my 3 boys inside, 1 crying because his brother refused to hold his hand and keep him safe in the parking lot. I put my bag on the counter.
The poor teenage boy behind the counter looked up and asked how he could help me. I pulled the half box of fries out of my bag and told him what had happened. He was quick to apologize for the inconvenience, he used his training well and made sure to add, "I know this can be frustrating"... he apologized again after they corrected it. I wasn't ANGRY, but I probably looked like it, dragging my children inside to accuse them of giving me a less than adequate amount of fat inducing, grease covered, blood sugar boosting starch sticks.
Why am I sharing about making myself look like a nut case? As I drove away I was still feeling frustrated. Do you ever play a scene over in your mind and think of all the ways it could have gone differently? Do you ever annoy yourself for making a big deal about something that really wasn't? Or try to justify to yourself why a thing was okay? All of this is what I was doing.
Here's what I decided with myself: It was okay to be frustrated by something so silly as not getting what I thought I had paid for (I paid for a box of fries and got half of a box). It was good to make it known to the person who I purchased it from. I probably was a little overboard by taking the kids inside to fix it, but I certainly couldn't leave them in the van. My frustration was okay at this point. BUT - my reaction might have been bigger than I meant for it to be. I was not rude or disrespectful to the people around me, BUT - I let french fries get me agitated - french fries.
Was that really worth my time? There are so many things in this world that are WORTH getting frustrated and taking action about and I am so good at ignoring them. Why do I choose to take action when it comes to things like french fries?
My challenge to myself is to pay attention to what's important. Before I start to get upset about things that I feel are unjust in my world, stop to think about whether anyone's life will be improved by my taking action. In reality - I don't think anyone's life was improved by my becoming french fry lady (other than maybe some poor potato farmer).
What gets you frustrated? How do you take action? Do you ever stop to think about whether a frustration is really worth your time and energy?
It was Friday night after a long week of work and a surprise trip to the neurlogist and, and, and... I was tired, I hadn't eaten since lunch - it was 9pm and I had been driving for 40 minutes listening to kids music. We don't have air in the van, so I drove with the windows down, my hair, in a pony tail, was wind-blown and the smaller sections crazy all over the place. My children, having been swiftly thrown into the van upon the completion of camp, were dirty - really dirty. Oh, and my 2 year old? He's pooped through 2 pair of shorts today, the last shortly before we left the grounds - he was clad in a tshirt and diaper only.
I promised the boys that we would stop and get a "snack" on the way home, they had only had snacks at dinner time because I thought we would leave sooner. I pulled in to the first fast food joint on the road after leaving camp (yes, the nearest fast food joint between our house and the camp is a 40 minute drive). I ordered our food and pulled off to the side to hand out treats. I opened my bag and discovered that I had only been given about half of a box of fries.
The poor teenage boy behind the counter looked up and asked how he could help me. I pulled the half box of fries out of my bag and told him what had happened. He was quick to apologize for the inconvenience, he used his training well and made sure to add, "I know this can be frustrating"... he apologized again after they corrected it. I wasn't ANGRY, but I probably looked like it, dragging my children inside to accuse them of giving me a less than adequate amount of fat inducing, grease covered, blood sugar boosting starch sticks.
Why am I sharing about making myself look like a nut case? As I drove away I was still feeling frustrated. Do you ever play a scene over in your mind and think of all the ways it could have gone differently? Do you ever annoy yourself for making a big deal about something that really wasn't? Or try to justify to yourself why a thing was okay? All of this is what I was doing.
Here's what I decided with myself: It was okay to be frustrated by something so silly as not getting what I thought I had paid for (I paid for a box of fries and got half of a box). It was good to make it known to the person who I purchased it from. I probably was a little overboard by taking the kids inside to fix it, but I certainly couldn't leave them in the van. My frustration was okay at this point. BUT - my reaction might have been bigger than I meant for it to be. I was not rude or disrespectful to the people around me, BUT - I let french fries get me agitated - french fries.
Was that really worth my time? There are so many things in this world that are WORTH getting frustrated and taking action about and I am so good at ignoring them. Why do I choose to take action when it comes to things like french fries?
My challenge to myself is to pay attention to what's important. Before I start to get upset about things that I feel are unjust in my world, stop to think about whether anyone's life will be improved by my taking action. In reality - I don't think anyone's life was improved by my becoming french fry lady (other than maybe some poor potato farmer).
What gets you frustrated? How do you take action? Do you ever stop to think about whether a frustration is really worth your time and energy?
Saturday, July 14, 2012
I love you, and...
Around the same time, he started changing his "I love you's". (He says a lot of them at bed time when avoiding sleep). Now instead of "I love you". He started telling us, "I love you, and I don't want you to get captured". (Jesus was "captured" by the bad guys in his version of the Easter story).
THEN, he learned that Johnny Appleseed was dead and buried in a park near our church. His new obsession was death - he prayed for many people and animals to "get raised from the dead". To my knowledge Johnny is still in the park, but I am watching the news so I know if he comes back. His words of love changed to "Mommy, I love you, and I don't want you to get dead."
We spent a lot of time talking about death, what happens when people die, why do people die, etc. A month or so ago he said to me, "Mommy, I love you, and I don't want you to get dead" (sigh) "but we all die". Okay, so I wanted to chuckle at the drama, but it was a serious concern for him and he's still very focused on the fact that everything dies.
Daddy decided a while back that Manasseh needed a little help to move beyond the "death issue". So he chose to combat it, by responding to, "we all are going to die" and other such statements that he likes to inform anyone about as long as they'll listen, with "yes, but our God is a God of life, we will live." This has brought on some new discussions about living with Jesus, airplanes crashing into heaven, people falling out of heaven...
Cassius has started to mimic his older brother's "I love you, and..." statements. This week I decided I would subtly fight back against these "I don't wants" with statements of, "I love you and I want..."
A few things I want for my children:
- I want you to know Jesus
- I want you to get rest (often this is sleep avoidance)
- I want you to be healthy
- I want you to grow into a gentleman
- I want you to show love to others
- I want good things for you
The list goes on. They're still not quite catching the change, but I believe that if we continue to replace the "dont wants" with "wants", it will help them to shift their thinking about fears into thinking about peace and hope.
How do you address fears with your children? Do they ever become obsessive with talking about things that make them nervous?
I guess I'm getting old
I just had this real life conversation with my 4 year old after we saw a video clip of someone's birthday party -
Me: Do you know who has the next birthday in our house?
Nas: Um... who?
Me: Me!
Nas: Why do you want to be a grandma?
Me: A grandma? I'm not old enough to be a grandma?
Nas: Why?
Me: Because I will be a grandma when my boys grow up and have babies.
Nas: But I have a baby, Maru the cow.
Me: So, he's my grandson?
Nas: Yes!
There you have it - I'm officially old. I have my first grandcow.
Me: Do you know who has the next birthday in our house?
Nas: Um... who?
Me: Me!
Nas: Why do you want to be a grandma?
Me: A grandma? I'm not old enough to be a grandma?
Nas: Why?
Me: Because I will be a grandma when my boys grow up and have babies.
Nas: But I have a baby, Maru the cow.
Me: So, he's my grandson?
Nas: Yes!
There you have it - I'm officially old. I have my first grandcow.
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