Mamavation Monday: My Secret Goal

After sharing last week what my goals for the year are, I sat back, contented... and then realized that there is one goal that I try not to express.  Why?  Because I am afraid of public failure.  I think most of us are.  I need help to accomplish this goal though, and I can't get help for things I don't admit to.

So here it is, my secret:  

I want to conquer my diabetes.

It's simple.  I know - and it is the REASON for some of my other goals (clean eating, exercise...).  It is hard to admit that is the heart of it, because what if I do these things and my blood sugars are still not controlled?  What if I lose 50 pounds and am still diabetic?

Well, if I lose 50 pounds and I am still struggling with diabetes, there is good news.  That's right!  I will have lost 50 pounds, have more energy, look and feel healthier, and keep up with my kids better!  Now I'm not saying that my goal is to lose 50 pounds this year, I picked that number arbitrarily (but it would be a fantastic goal for the year).  I just want to live healthy and look healthy.  No, not true - I want to BE healthy this year.

Here's to a healthy year.

My Word

My sister shared a challenge with me this week.  She read something that a friend had written about choosing a word to strive for this year, instead of a goal or a resolution.  Simply a word.  It can be anything, as long as it is meaningful and you desire to achieve it.  I have thought about this for a couple of days and finally come to a decision about my word for 2011. 

GROW

It seems like I often end up in a rut, a dead place.  I look around and feel like we are back in the same mess, with the same problem, and no solution.  I frequently feel dull, unexcited, un-passionate, and lacking in areas that are so important to me.  I lack in faith, in family relationship, in kind words, in friendship, in energy, in health.  Oi!  I sometimes feel dead - like I am in the middle of winter.

In the coming year I want to focus on growing in all of those areas.  I want to grow personally, and with my family.  I am confident that I will grow in ways that I never imagined possible.  I am also certain that there will be times when I feel stuck and dead.  I hope that others will hold me accountable and ask about how I am growing.  Right now I am looking for the little bits of beauty popping up from the snow of my winter.  I am working to nurture these things with the help of my God and my family.  It is the start of a beautiful year.

My two little men, who started out so small are growing.  Crackers turns 1 on Saturday and Monkey will be 2 1/2 next week!  I look forward to helping them each grow in strength, independence, knowledge, faith, and wisdom.  I hope they grow in stature also - poor Monkey is going to be shorter than his brother by the end of the year if he doesn't hurry up and grow some.  These sweeties are a thing of beauty, a hidden nest, in the days that seem short and dark.

Now, I know that the word "grow" is not magical and that focusing on a word  is not going to make every day feel like 100%.  I also know that God is with me and guiding me.  As I grow in Him more over the next year, what some days feels like a cold, dead winter, will be a lush green forest of growth.  

Thank you, God for the opportunity to grow in you and in so many other ways.  I look forward to the coming year of growth that will bring so many surprises.  Help me to lean hard on you on the cold days and remember the beautiful things that I have seen around me.

What about you?  Do you have a word?  Do you want to grow?