Monday, February 18, 2013

Be A Burden #Mamavation

When was the last time someone asked what they could do to help you out?  How did you respond?  Did you think about 37 things you really could use help with and then say something like "Oh, I've got it pretty well covered"?


I've been there.  I don't want to "be a burden" to my friends or family, but maybe I really could use some help.  Because... just maybe... I'm human.  I'm frail.  I need help sometimes.  It is so hard to admit that I need help.  I don't want to feel like a burden.  I don't want others to have to go out of their way to help me out.

I've been on the other side too.  I really want to help out a friend, who I know is having a hard time with something: pregnancy, illness, business, life in general.  I ask what I can do to help.  I've asked specific things, "can I bring you a meal?" or "can I watch your kids for a while?"  It seems almost inevitable that my loved ones "have it all under control." 

Here's the thing.  Some of us are wired to express love through serving others.  Some of us truly desire to help others out, because that is how we show our best caring.  When I turn away a friend or family member who asks to help out - I am not allowing them to bless me.  When a someone turns away an offer to help, it hurts.  Honestly, I feel as though my attempts to love on someone have been kicked in the guts.  Ouch.

So be a burden.  Let other people serve you.  Allow your loved ones to love on you.  It's good for your health to let others help you out - allow yourself time to de-stress.

If you're a servant, like me, know that sometimes others just don't understand you want to show them love.  Be patient with them, and keep offering to let them "be a burden" in your life.  Keep serving, it's good for your health too.

How do you best show love?  How do you feel when others offer to do things to help you out?


  1. Jen, what a wonderful, timely post!
    I am known by my friends as the fixer. If an emergency pops up, I show up and start fixing what I can. I have always shown my love by giving my time and talents to make the other person's life easier.

    I just made myself available to grieving friends, but in the process, did not realize that I needed the space to grieve. I learned through new friends last week that it was okay to feel the hurt, express it, and to need support. I didn't have to be the strong one the entire time. I was blessed to receive a dose of my own supportive medicine. Until now, I had no idea how much just being there and listening could actually mean.

    1. Jeanae, it's true. We all share and experience love differently. Somtimes when others want to be loved on differently than we are used to sharing, it hurts. Let yourself be a burden and keep serving others when you're able.