Okay, I worked in a residential facility with abused young boys for several years. One thing my boss told us again and again was this: DON'T ASK WHY. His main reason? It's nearly impossible to satisfactorily answer the question "why". For instance, "Why did you hit Jimmy in the face?" "Well.. see, he was looking at me mean..." Right, there's not a GOOD answer to the question "Why".
I know this, I promise.. I really do.
Tonight while we were at church one of the "pretty girls" came to tell me that Monkey had "an accident". (We don't use that phrase at home, but that's okay, I knew what she meant - he had wet his pants). I made my way slowly to the room where the kids were playing (I go everywhere slowly right now).
Monkey was waiting for me in the bathroom with wet pants. He wasn't anxious about this, he doesn't get in trouble for it - he's 3.. he's still learning and I figure if I don't make a real big deal about it, it won't be a behavior issue later (ie, I'm mad at you so I'm going to pee my pants in this public place to embarrass you). This is a lesson I learned from a former foster son.
As I got down on the floor to change Monkey's pants, I asked him the unanswerable question...
"Why did you wet your pants?"
"Why did you go potty in your pants?"
"Pretty girl say I have to".
There you have it - my son wet his pants because the pretty girl (babysitter) said he had to do it. LOL. I am certain they did not tell him that... I've got to remind myself not to ask dumb questions!